Saturday, December 8, 2007

Seriously? Give me a break!

Ok I am sorry I have not been posting lately, but you know had it is....Christmas = Busy. I know bad blogger! LOL However, I was all set to accomplish several things today. First, MY christmas cards. I have been so busy filling orders that I haven't done my own. Ooops! Secondly I wanted to do some candy wrapping (that will be a full picture post one day hopefully soon) and I wanted to continue a bit of my "Wintertime Spring Cleaning" SO, I now bring you the vented portion of today's blog. If you are reading this, sorry or just don't read it because I have no where else to vent. People don't know how to just listen or whatever so my apologies and here goes.

Today I didn't get out of bed until late morning. (thanks to someone not bothering to wake me) I didn't sleep well at all. Both my girls were waking up all night, alternately (almost as if they planned it that plus I am taking Champix to quit smoking and I find I am not sleeping as well on it. (which was going well until I went out one night and smoked with my drinks....silly move) That brings me to my next complaint. Seriously!! how hard is it to quit smoking when your husband still smokes around you??? Well, I will tell you...It SUCKS. I can go an entire day not even thinking about smoking until he walks in the door and lights one up. From that point on I want one all night and usually do. Grrrr

Also today my 3 Y/O daughter was a little additude queen, nuff said! My 1 Y/O played with the Christmas tree all day. Fantastic time of year where I spent the greater portion of the day putting ornaments out of her hand and back on the tree. As soon as I would grab it from her you would need earplugs from her screaming. ok so blah blahblah bathtime, bedtime...okie dokie. or not. McKayla threw a HUGE fit about going to bed and landed herself in bed anyways after a spanking. At that point she went to sleep without a peep. (well now aren't I the

Last but not least shortly before I am sitting here typing my mom phones me and is depressed and lonely so we were just talking about random things. I mentioned to her that Chris had one their cars hit while parked on the street and the guy left his name and phone number. So my mom starts talking about how they should phone the cops and what if this guy tries to pin it on them and screw them over so to speak. I said to her well he wouldnt be able to because HE hit THEM and a parked car surely didnt jump out in front of him and that had that of been anyone else (including Me) they would have done the same thing. If it is just a minor little dent or whatever who calls the cops you just trade info and sort it out amoungst yourselves. Well then she decided to jump down my throat and say "Why do you always have to argue with me? thats not why I phoned you. I phoned to see how you were and now I see your fine so goodbye" I told her no dont hang up I was not trying to argue I was simply carrying out a conversation with you and saying what I think. simply saying well anyone would have done the same thing and I am sure that the situation would be just fine. It is not likes its a big deal why would I want to argue over it, it's not even my car or my problem.

Anyway after that she just said well everytime we talk that I start arguing with her and also pointed out the fact that I have not talked to her in a while. Well, I am sorry but after months of confused disorganized life I HAVE to get m, my family and my house back on track. Does anyone else think it is totally selfish of me to want to make sure I can pay attention to my daughters ever growing additude problem? or the fact that my husband and I have argued more in the last 6 months then we have almost the whole time we have been together and I want to pay attention to that? OR the fact that my household duties have fallen so far behind that my laundry pile id taller then I am so I would like to remedy that as well? I spent 4 hours yesterday cleaning and all I did was my livingroom top to bottom and the front entry way. Lets not forget that t has ONLY been FOUR days since I talked to her!! HELLO!! I cant call her every day. i dont cal anyone everyday anymore. I just can't sit on the phone and expect any of this stuff to get done.

WOW, it suddenly occured to me that it hasnt even been that long I called her on thursday and she was laying in bed. Which brings me to my next point. Every time I call her in the last 2 weeks she has been laying in bed....well I feel bad disturbing her in bed at 3 pm!

So all that said, I got a few things done this afternoon but nearly as much as I wanted. This evening I was savoring the silence of the girls in bed, watched a movie with Curtis (so as not to let him feel meglected) and then the part f the evening I was going to spend having a shower and then doing a bit of scrapping has now been hijacked by my mood and postponed to a later evening then I had intended on. Now I am going to have that shower but skip the scrapping and try to get some sleep. I thank you for my massive rambling but I feel slightly better the I did...ok so i would perfer to spill on some listening ears of a good friend but it is after late and a good friend is no where in sight.

Night all ~Jewels

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